?

Log in

New Journal.   
11:30am 23/08/2004
  My girlfriend is sick and in major trouble with her parents, so she's spending a lot of time online. Because I cannot see her, and I cannot convey as much on the phone as in person, I've decided to start using LJ again. Also, because of my severed ties with two of my former friends, who I actually still care about quite a bit... I don't feel comfortable using this one, so I have decided to finally put chaos_drive to use. I have already added a few of my friends to the other account. If any of you still wanna keep in touch, add it.  
     Post
 
The End   
05:49am 08/07/2004
 
mood: satisfied
Over the course of the past few months, as well as the previous year, I have grown and changed as a person deeply and profoundly. I feel like I can finally see the world for what it really is. Happiness and sadness are irrelevant by themselves, knowledge and experience are what matter most. I thought I knew what freedom was. I thought I knew what love was. I was so ignorant. Now not only do I feel like I can do anything, I actually go out and do it. I have gained so much, I have no idea how I could have lived before... Maybe I just wasn't really living until now. I roam the night to no end. I'm pretty easy to find. If you seek me out in the right places, you will probably see me, that is if you can even recognize me. Until then, I guess this is farewell.

This was written while listening to Naoki underground's L'amour et la Liberte, VNV Nation's Saviour, and Depeche Mode's Enjoy the Silence.
 
     Read 1 - Post
 
Return   
02:50am 01/05/2004
 
mood: melancholy
Going for a long journey into the night tomorrow. I hope it will help me clear my head. I am taking a girl I've known since Thanksgiving, but barely know, and going into the middle of nowhere, to yet another gathering in the desert. This girl seems to really like me, and I hope her affections will get me over Casey. I really care about Casey more than anyone right now, but it is just an impossible endeavor, and I've finally accepted that. I just wish I didn't love her, because then maybe things would go back to the way they were. I felt like she led me on for some time. Maybe she doesn't really know what she wants, I don't know. This girl Noelle, the one I'm going with, is really cool, and she could be an awesome girlfriend. The thing is, I know I can't really love anyone other than Casey right now, but at the same time, I don't want to be alone. Oh yeah I took pictures too.

Vortex
Casey
Sketch
Peter
Blake
Candie & Brandon Boobs

I will post pics of me & Noelle with Trevor and the gang once the party is over, then I will probably delete this LJ.
 
     Post
 
WOOOOOOOOO!   
01:11am 27/03/2004
 
mood: happy
Okay muthafakas , I haven't been here for a while due to various bullshit things, and it's not like you care anyway. Got big job interview on monday, all right! Meetin' up with Casey tomorrow! A lot of shit has happened to her these past few months, and I'm eager to talk with her in person for once, since it's been a long time. On sunday Me, Blake, His new wannabe goth G/F Cat, Casey, Claire, and whoever else decides to show up (probably Emily & Chelsea) are a goin' up to muthafukin' Midgar to visit Don Corneo and his honeybee batches at the glow store and Hard Rock Cafe. Jumping Humpers who rape people in the ass like igors from Castlevania decided that Eric can't make it, too bad bro. There we will have much glowsticking and hot sticky sex-to-the-core, that is minus the sex. I have turned into ultra-homo, as I now play DDR pretty much at least once everyday, shit, never thought it could happen to me, I mean I've avoided that game almost the entirety of its existance, and now I love it. WTF? Remember kiddies what great Jimmy once said, "Masturbation is good for you, but it isn't the best!!" Woohoo Gay-Music Powah!!! 'Til Later.
 
     Read 1 - Post
 
Humm dee dum.   
12:49am 16/03/2004
 
mood: exhausted
So, I think I'm actually gonna get a job and take Ashley up on her offer. I mean it's better than getting kicked out, right? Life is pretty boring without music and art to keep me busy. Otto-san's gone off the deep end yet again. I think I'm finally starting to get used to it, which is a frightening thing for me. I'm lending all my personal possessions to my friends so I don't have to worry about packing when I move, which won't be for some time. I can excecute symbiosis a little longer. If any of you wonder where I've been, I'm being sneaky at the moment through use of ancient technology. Gawd, I miss my kompyutah. I found Gilmore St. at last, which should either be the greatest discovery ever, or a time bomb waiting to go off. Hung with Daniel for a while today, we played instruments had some Tekken action, and watched really shitty porn. Porn so bad I had to turn it off. Just finished archiving really old burned CDs, found some old cuts from coutin, which should prove to be badass, as I never found these tracks again once I initially lost them. I was lucky to find them on at least a temporary medium. Don't have much to do tomorrow, will probably hang with the girls and bitch about life. And yes I still glow in the dark. til' later.
 
     Read 1 - Post
 
My Life as of Late   
02:24am 23/02/2004
 
mood: awake
Well I just got back this morning from the RESET Thank You Party with dualblade and had the joy of sleeping all day. Not many people showed up to this one. I haven't been to a rave in a long time, and though I had a good time for the most part, the night was filled with a strange sense of nostalgia and wearyness. I would be dancing or sitting down, see something happen and swear I had seen the same exact moment in time before. There was just an eerie vibe everywhere, everyone seemed kind of hesitant. I met many people there, but I met two new special people on the way, Kyle and Jacob. I spent most of the night talking with Jacob, which proved to be very interesting, and I really enjoyed his company. I've had a lot of insomnia lately, and was hoping this would help me deal with it to some extent, but since I'm writing this now, it proves that It's not a long term cure. I just sit up thinking too much, I really gotta stop being so fucking analytical, it can't be healthy. I just feel somelancholy right now, and I don't really know why. I think that some of it might have to do with the fact that I'll probably never see four people I love very much ever again. Though I knew this previously, I was still quite happy, I guess the full extent of it hadn't hit me until now. I'm still trying to figure a lot of stuff out, everything seems really cloudy. I would like to once again, Thank dualblade for providing me with such an entertaining escape his weekend. I was getting quite tired of sitting at home all the time with nothing to do.
 
     Post
 
When you have nothing better to do... Awesome things can happen.   
11:29pm 16/02/2004
 
mood: accomplished
I just spent a couple hours turning my computer into a wire-frame linear perspective statement reminiscent of both Kandinsky and Uccello. Armed only with a few permanent markers and a ruler, I set out on my task. It looks fucking amazing. I'm so proud of myself. I can't wait until I get some paints and maybe some spray varnish to finish it off.
 
     Post
 
Since everyone else has one....   
01:56pm 13/02/2004
  Light
Your element is Light: Innocent, beautiful,
kind-hearted and pure. You are so sweet your
almost angelic, you find joy in others
happiness and cannot stand to see anyone in
pain. You want to make everyone around you feel
good about themselves and if someone is upset
you can tend to become rather upset as well
which means you still have a heart. Being as
kind and good-natured as you are people have
most likely hurt you in the past but you pick
yourself up everytime and dust off the pain.
You may look fragile but you are stronger than
you think. Life is beautiful no matter how you
look at it and people make mistakes, not
everyone is perfect. You try to see the good in
the bad which is a talent few posses, dont ever
let anyone change you. Someday all of your hard
work to make others happy will pay off big
time, not that your looking for a reward. You
truely have a beautiful soul inside and a heart
of gold.


.:-|What is your true element?|-:. {-With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-} ^_^
brought to you by Quizilla
 
     Post
 
Casey's Synaesthetic Rant: "Plastic Loons"   
06:40pm 11/02/2004
 
mood: amused
kay, here it is....

"Hey you... How ya doin?
What was so weird last night, I wonder? You left so abruptly. Oh well... My mind is out to  lunch at the moment, and it has left me with a yellow  card... Man, I really don't like yellow that much, it usually means something sneaky. Perhaps it is really the ring-leader of some  prostitution ring, or mayyyybe a murderer. Well I know one thing for sure, my mind is up to  something, and I am going to find out what it is, if it's the last thing I do. Ha! Feeding me yellow, what was it thinking? I won't find out, it should know better!!! Shhhhhh.... Here it comes back. Just look at that suspicious look on its face! Just act like you don't know anything about it....."How was lunch, mind?" "Good, aren't you tired yet?" "No, not at all, well maybe just a little." "what did you have for lunch mind?" "Oh! Just some basic neurons and proteins, nothing special. Why so many questions?" "No reason. Can't I just be friendly with my own mind?" "Well, yeah. It's just everything you have said so far has ended in a question. It's getting kinda scrupulous, and i need to get back to work. I am already late." "To work then." "Thank you!" ....Pardon this slight excursion into the cerebral realm, for I had to rant about sooomthing.  You would understand, I am sure. 'Til another day and I will bid you a  good day as well... "

LMAO
It's so awesome to have another person who can actually relate to synaesthesis for once.
 
     Post
 
Does that make ya Randi?   
06:17pm 11/02/2004
 
mood: blah
Shixor I wrote for psych I thought was kewl.

Read more...Collapse )
 
     Post
 
Quizes are lame...   
04:18pm 10/02/2004
 
mood: tired
The penguins are in the toilets.
You are most like the phrase
"Los pinguinos
estan en el water"
which is Spanish
for:
"The penguins are in the
toilets".


Which Random Phrase In Another Language Are You Most Like?
brought to you by Quizilla
 
     Read 2 - Post
 
First day.   
06:43pm 09/02/2004
 
mood: contemplative
yup, today was the first day of spring semester. Most of my friends are back except for a few. And what really sucks is I have even more fangirls now. Shit, I wish I could just get rid of all of them. Sachie is once again stalking me relentlessly, maybe I should just give the poor girl what she wants, I've never been with an asian before. So far, I have friends from last year in all my classes, which is kewl. Had lunch with Drastik Prima today. Seems like we get closer every time we hang out. Besides neo_otaku, they're probably the closest friends I have right now. There are a lot of goth cuties fresh out of highschool romping around. This really sucks for me, 'cause all these opportunities are right in front of me, and I can only think of being with one person right now, and she still hasen't given me the final word on whether or not she is leaving LA. As hard as it can be, I'm really enjoing taking my time for once in this kind of situation. I've never had love slowly develop over time like this, It's usually always like a Grayhound bus, either runs me over or passes right on by. This is really nice for a change, but I have a feeling deep down inside, that it's not meant to be, regardless of how intense this attraction is. I got four compliments on how good my hair looks today. Funny, I was just thinking of cutting it all off. Maybe I'll let it grow just a little longer and see what happens. I don't think anyone can comprehend my insanity at the moment. 'til later.
 
     Post
 
If Only Friday was the thirteenth...   
12:27am 08/02/2004
 
mood: relieved
Yesterday I was supposed to meet up with Emily, Chelsea, Casey, neo_otaku and haixo to do random stuff and buy a kilt. Instead, three of us ended up having the night from hell due to some strange otto-san action. Everything turned out right in the end though, as it usually does. It was quite an adventure. The day contained an enigmatic monk that blessed my necklace that goddesskutani once gave me, as well as the LED from the Casey thing that now hangs from it. Our luck was so bad, that I thought we were going to die or something. Emily was probably the one who suffered the most in the whole ordeal, but due to things that happened that night, she ended up with kewl pictures and a new car! I suffered probably the second, I finally found the ring I was looking for the entire time that we were at venice with dualblade and I probably had the most rpomising conversation with Casey yet. Chelsea got back in contact with a boy she's been after. You can get 'im girl, just be rawrg about it and it'll probably happen.

Here's a convo I had with Em after all the shit started to die down.

Read more...Collapse )
 
     Post
 
Lotsa Shit   
09:57pm 05/02/2004
 
mood: loved
Yup that's pretty much what happened this week. Everything's kewl with Noelle again. Took fun pics with Emily. Getting good at guitar again. Made an amazing portrait of Casey (I really think it's my finest work yet). I should probably go buy a canvas and shixor, but complications and eventually, apathy gets the best of me in such matters. I miss Chels, haven't seen her in a while. I'm thinking about embarking on a remix with Jean Charles and myself on piano and various other instruments. Maybe once he gets better it'll happen... Yes Fleck, I'm still gonna try and see you, tomorrow specifically, if that's cool... Gonna try and see everyone... especially Fleck and Casey, we've put off our fun for far too long...

Oh and way to go Blake, on that Peanut stunt, you know that bitch deserved it!
 
     Post
 
Symbiosis II   
12:24am 03/02/2004
 
mood: peaceful
Wow, conversations with people like Casey, Emily, and Blake are so philosophical and introspective. I never grow tired of talking to them, especially at night. sometimes these discussions seem to fulfill all my desires and make my life complete, they are so good. I always learn the most from these people, I wish more could be as frank and open as they are. NIght talk is the best, cause it's so quiet and intimate, you feel like exchanging information with this person is the only thing happening in the universe. As I said, I love it, since not a single moment is wasted.
 
     Post
 
WTF!?   
03:16pm 01/02/2004
  My friend just said this crazy shixor.

CL quote of the week:
"make her say my name and hog her hedge like a SEGA game"
-SOS

*is disturbed*
 
     Post
 
Strings!!!   
12:16pm 01/02/2004
 
mood: accomplished
I finally got some strings! I found a pack that was stashed in the most odd spot, it's no wonder I never found them. They were in the kitchen. I spent all day yesterday playing guitar, it was so awesome. I never really appreciated how wonderful it is to have a musical instrument until it wasn't able to be played anymore. I love playing piano, but my love for guitar is just so much more passionate. I was so out of practice it's not even funny, but it feels like not much has changed since I last played, except the sensitivity of my fingers. I can't wait until I see Chelsea and Emily next weekend, and we might all play together. so that was the highlight of this weekend, 'cause my final is on thursday and you know as they say, 'Continuity is power, keep on studying."
 
     Read 2 - Post
 
....Symbiosis.....   
11:28pm 19/01/2004
 
mood: tired
Gawd, I'm fuckin tired. It was so nice to have the weekend all to myself, but now it's coming to an end...

So here it is a VIP treat, one of the highlights of my amazing weekend, the convo with Em, (edited) Campbells condensed version.

Read more...Collapse )
 
     Read 1 - Post
 
Bitch, I aint'cho Daddy!   
06:21pm 18/01/2004
 
mood: bored
Hmmm... Pretty boring day so far, which is self evident due to the fact I've already posted like what, three times? At least I'm finally able to take care of my normal upkeep that has been put off. I'm also going through neo_otaku and Casey withdrawals, I'm still pretty distraught about them leaving, and this song is simply oh so fitting... Should probably hunt them down soon. To cope with all the sudden free time I have, I'm thinking about getting back on the remixing scene. I may import some stuff from the Disklavier later if i can sneak my comp upstairs and do all the wiring. Maybe I should just buy a cheap synth and midi unit so I can just do it all down here, since that monster upstairs is in such a fragile area, and my sound card is a little dated, don't think Otto-san would appreciate it. If I actually get anything done, I'll give CDs to those who request them.
 
     Post
 
Murder.   
12:01pm 18/01/2004
 
mood: content
I'm starting to think that most forms of electronica are acquired tastes. Though, I love The Crystal Method, this song used to do nothing but piss me off, with it's dissonance. Now all of a sudden, I understand it completely, and it is now my favorite song by them. It is pure genious in its simplicity, either that,or I'm on crack, but whatever.

Emily contacted me out of nowhere, and we had the best conversation I've had in a while. She is so insightful and analytical. She's starting to remind me alot of neo_otaku . She's really open-minded, just like him. I feel like I could tell her anything, and she'd know where I'm coming from, and understand it without second thought. People like this are rare, so never lose them. Emily, I know you'll find the right person someday, as slipnslydsuicyd says, maybe you're just looking a little too hard.

Other than that, though I constantly make fun of the hippie. Jesus upposedly said something which I am beginning to see in a different light, "Never cast your pearls before swine." I think everybody could take this phrase to heart and relate to it, regardless of whatever the fuck they believe in.
 
     Post